Scars of the Past
by Andorian Ice Princess-AIP
Summary: Audrey Bidwell, his former fiancée, suddenly renters Ressler's life just as he's about to take an important step forward in his relationship with Liz. But why has she really come back and will Ressler be tempted to heal the scars of his past and risk losing Liz in the process? Or will Liz be the one to really lose?


**Title: Scars of the Past  
****Chapter 1 – Out of the Blue**

**Summary: ** Audrey Bidwell, his former fiancée, suddenly reenters Ressler's life just as he's about to take an important step forward in his relationship with Liz. But why has she really come back and will Ressler be tempted to heal the scars of his past and risk losing Liz in the process? Or will Liz be the one to really lose?

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing…only my muse and my ideas otherwise all characters belong to this amazing show!

**A/N: **Okay so we finally learned a bit about Ressler's past but I wanted to expand a bit more upon it even though we don't know much. And I know I have another story currently in the works for The Blacklist ('Beyond Borders' which I hope you're all still enjoying) I hope you like this idea also :) and I'm sorry if two updates this week are too much! Blame my muse for being so inspired by our new fave couple!

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_'What happened to Audrey Bidwell?'_

_'She left me.' _

_'You were engaged.'_

_'To her yeah. It was my engagement to you that ended that relationship. Five years I chased you. Five years trying to make my name. Look where it's gotten me! She left me because of you. I'm alone. Always will be.' _

Audrey…not that long ago she was his whole romantic life…his future happiness…the one person he lived for…that is until Red Reddington came into the picture and then…everything changed. She got tired of him putting the chase for the notorious criminal before her and their life together and left him. Told him one day he had to choose – the job or her and he did; he chose both. She said he could never have both and make it work, placed the ring into his palm and turned on her heel and left. He had tried but she said unless he made the choice, to not bother again. He never saw her again. After that he had given up on love and immersed himself in his job; telling him the job would never betray him and he'd never have to feel the pain of romantic betrayal again. However, destiny hadn't given up on him just yet.

Two years later Elizabeth Keen entered his life; making an impact from the moment their paths crossed and turning his world upside down with a bat of her determined brown eyes. It was totally unexpected – a romantic collision course waiting to strike and then unfold before them both. There was one road block…Thomas Keen; someone he didn't like or trust from the moment Liz introduced them. But that too, was going to change – in their favor.

Donald Ressler wasn't a man to waste time on…well anything. _It's only been two months…ask her out…she just got divorced...her and Tom were separated for six months before that…ask her out! _But he hesitates…his mind recalling a very tense confession with Red some time ago; the two of them being locked in Red's holding cell with his life on the line. Red had brought up his past…something that had crippled any personal relationship with a woman and chained him to painful memories until he was ready to let go.

_'What's that Keen?' _He recalls asking her one day a month ago, walking into the small meeting room and seeing the perplexed expression on her face.

_'It's my divorce. It's final.'_

In that moment he didn't know whether to hug her or congratulate her. He always resented Tom for Tom's blaming Liz's job for everything that went wrong in their relationship. So he had offered her a few verbal sentiments and then told her work would help her forget. But over the month, he was more and more aware that the name Tom was fading further and further into the background and maybe just maybe…he had a chance with a woman he was attracted to the moment their eyes locked.

_Ask her out now! Why wait?_

Their current call ended with a success as expected; Ressler handing off their latest suspect into the open arms of the waiting authorities and then slowly walking up to Liz as she heads to pick up her gun and phone; his heart starting to pick up the pace – beating time with the tone of his walk.

"You okay?" Ressler asks in concern as he gently takes her arm and helps her stand up.

"I just bought this coat," she replies with a tired smile as she holds up her arm and shows him the tear in the elbow. "Otherwise…I'm fine. You?"

"Fine," Ressler answers with a small smile as they head back to the SUV.

"Do you want to go for…"

"Coffee?"

"Dinner?"

Both ask at the same time and then stop and trade amused expressions before two faces soften and smiles are revealed.

"Coffee? Aren't you hungrier after all that fighting?" She lightly tosses back as he gently bows his head and nods in agreement.

"Okay but I get to pick."

"Thai?"

"I thought I got to pick," he retorts.

"You did and I like Thai," she holds her ground as he merely shakes his head.

"Thai. Spicy...sure that'll work," he muses as the SUV starts up and they head toward one of Liz's favorite eating places. They take a booth near the back of the quaint, aromatic little restaurant, settling in from each other and getting ready to enjoy the rest of the evening.

"So…what's good here?"

"Depends on how daring are you?" Liz tosses back as playfully snatches his menu, forcing him to purse his lips as he gestures for the waiter to come near.

"Evening. So what'll you have?"

"Apparently I'm in her hands," Ressler replies as the waiter looks at Liz in wonder. He can only watch with an amused smile as she points to a few items, not telling him what she's ordering and then sending the waiter away to make it all happen. "Should I be afraid?"

"Very," Liz retorts as she takes a sip of her water. "Helping out Garth was the right thing to do."

"I know…it just…stung to watch him get on that plane after everything he did."

"The deal was legal," she reminds him as he nods in agreement, his fingers nervously fumbling with the label on his bottle of beer. "Don?"

"I know it's only been a month but um…how are you? I know how you are but…" his voice trails off as he offers her a sheepish smile. "Is it too soon? You know for this?"

For a man so sure of himself in the professional field, hearing and seeing him flounder in private, trying to express his inner feelings but tripping over them was almost refreshing. _He is human after all…yes he is but nervous! Put his mind at ease! I'm nervous too!_

"Your timing is perfect," she answers in truth; putting his mind at ease. "This is where I want to be okay?"

"Me too," he admits warmly as his hand dares to sneak out and rest atop hers, the heat that starts to emanate between them almost immediate. "So…what exactly have you gotten me into tonight?"

"Well…" she starts as she tosses him a mischievous grin. But she doesn't have to wait too long before the first course arrives and he can only arch his brows in wonder.

"What…is this?"

"Just try it and then tell me."

Ressler reaches out with a bit of hesitation and takes a modest forkful and then starts to taste. "Spicy," is his first reaction as he reaches for some water, making her offer a giggle and turn the plate around so the less spicy morsels were facing him. "You did that on purpose."

"Who me?" Liz tosses back as light laughter ensues. And the evening progresses from there, better than expected; the conversation was light and friendly and for their first 'date' non-committal. It ends with a soft kiss on the cheek and the promise of another night to come a few days later; that evening ending with a searing kiss that cemented their romantic date status. Trying to keep their budding romance under wraps at work was almost as big a challenge as chasing down some of their most wanted. For a month it worked. Cooper didn't suspect anything until a case involved a hostage taking and Ressler was a bit more distracted than normal. Liz was out of sight and he was almost ready to defy an order to get her back safe and sound at any cost. He blamed it on wanting to capture their suspect but Cooper wasn't stupid and once the situation had peacefully resolved, Ressler took Liz away from the rest to make sure she was okay – offering her a bit more physical support than he had when they had taken down Stewmaker. Cooper knew in that moment it was something more than professional concern for his partner.

The weeks that followed, the not so casual glances, the seeming to know where each other was without asking, the not having to ask where the other was and a few other things told Cooper the whole story. But both were dedicated professionals and had made an agreement the night of their second date that their personal lives would remain separate and in cases where there were obvious emotional conflicts, the one emotionally invested in the case would bow out to allow the other to objectively handle it – by force if necessary.

_'I love you Liz,' _he remembered telling her right after a tense case, nearly losing her and not caring much about their surroundings. However, she had responded in kind and in that moment, their romantic future was set on course.

The day Cooper confronted them about their personal relationship did change things. He had given them both a stern talking to and said if they were to ever cross the personal and professional boundaries during working hours, exchanging them in such a way so as to put either themselves or one or more of the team in jeopardy, or affect one of their assignments, one of them would be transferred out that day – no questions asked. In the six months that followed both had proven just how important their job was and how seriously they took their vow to Cooper to ensure they remained under his command and on the same team.

_I think she'll like it, _Ressler's mind muses as he looks down at the small black velvet box in his grasp. It had been six months and he was tired of waiting…tired of sometimes coming home to someone he was falling in love with and sometimes coming home alone. He wanted her there all the time…at his side…as his wife. Tonight he'd ask her and then hold his breath that the feelings she was offering were just as strong as the ones he was giving back. He wasn't one for playing the field or having a lot of casual flings; Liz had been the only real relationship he had since Audrey left his life.

_This could be the night…_Liz's mind races with giddy anticipation as she pulls up the zipper to her black dress and then reaches for the small bottle of floral perfume; putting on a few sprays in strategic places and then standing back to admire the view – hoping her handsome date would admire it just as much if not more so. He had hinted…but then he had hinted a few other nights and nothing; his leaving her guessing was driving her insane, but in a good way. If it was to be the night, she tells herself it'll be a quick engagement, not wanting to wait as long as she did with Tom._ I'm in love with Don…I want to marry him right away! _"Unless…it's not going to be."

_Get a grip Don, _Ressler orders himself as he heads into the elevator of her apartment, cursing the slow moving box that was seeming to take forever in getting to his intended destination – her front door. With the little black box weighing heavily in his pocket, he wonders if he'll make it past the few heartfelt words as he had rehearsed. _You shouldn't have to rehearse a marriage proposal, _his mind groans as he offers her door a firm knock.

"Wow," he whispers as she opens the door, dressed for the special occasion. "You look…beautiful."

"Thank you," Liz answers in kind as she steps out; Ressler waiting as she locks up. "You look pretty hot yourself," she commends his outfit consisting of black dress pants, a black and navy pin-striped dress shirt, no tie and a casual leather jacket.

"Why thank you," he replies in a low tone as he places a tender kiss on her soft cheek before his lips firmly press down on hers and linger in heat for a few seconds before he pulls back and gives her a tender smile; her fingers wiping away the small amount of evidence on the side of his lips. His arm automatically wraps around her waist as he guides her toward the elevator and then inside; the magical evening about to get underway.

"Oh come on…not even one little hint?" Liz begs as they head for the main lobby. "You know I'm armed right?"

"Mini gun in your clutch?" Ressler arches his blond brows as the elevator doors open. "Not sure where else you might carry a gun wearing that dress."

"Wanna frisk me?" She playfully flirts, offering a wink before she heads for the waiting cab, leaving him standing with his mouth slightly agape and offering an amused smile before he hurries after her with a head shake. He offers the cabbie the address to the restaurant and then settles in beside her, the two of them making small talk until they reach the little Thai restaurant; the same restaurant they had come to on their very first date.

Liz's eyes slightly widen the same time as her grin. "This brings back fond memories," she mentions as his hand slips from her shoulder to the small of her back as he guides her into the aromatic dwelling and then toward a reserved, private booth near the dance floor; the dance floor they were too nervous to use the night of their first date but one they'd certainly would tonight. "Tonight is already my favorite night of the year."

"More so than our first skating outing?" He dares to inquire.

"When you said you were a diehard hockey fan, I just assumed you could skate. I didn't realize you…"

"Have two left feet on the ice?" He gently smirks as his hand reaches out to enclose hers, a gesture he had dared to make on their very first date. "Guilty as charged. Was still a nice surprise. But I figured if after embarrassing fiasco, you still wanted to go out with me again, it wasn't as bad as I thought it was. Course I was stiff for about a week after that."

"Cooper scolded me for that I might add."

"What? He did?" Ressler asks with a small smile. "He never told me."

"I told him not to. When we both saw the old man in the scooter beat you on that foot chase…he dropped it."

"Ah so now the truth comes out," he nods as the waiter appears. He orders them a bottle of white wine, her favorite and then places their order. "So what other secrets are you keeping from me?" He asks playfully.

"I love the backstreet boys."

"What?" He asks weakly, offering her a chuckle as she nods proudly. "Anyone else know about this?" His face turns to mock seriousness.

"Only my grade nine next door neighbor."

"Do I need to make him disappear?" He counters as she nods once more.

"Yes him and two others. How about you?"

"Secrets, well…" he replies slowly. "I like the spice girls?"

"Really?"

"No," he laughs, Liz joining in; the mood getting happier as each moment passes. However, both are so wrapped up in the moment and each other that they fail to notice the determined set of eyes entering the small restaurant. Eyes that turn to stare at them in wonder; stare and then narrow.

"Actually I do have one secret."

"I already know where you got the thigh scar from."

"Cooper told you?" Ressler asks in shock.

"You don't want to know who told me."

"Red," Ressler replies flatly as Liz tries to hide her smile. "I don't want to know how he knows that right?"

"You don't. Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"Are you kidding? It's not exactly…" he pauses to give himself a small throat clear, "a manly way to get a scar."

"But it's amusing."

"When you're six. Not now."

"Okay back to the real secret," she prompts.

"Real secret…" he takes in a sharp breath and then looks at her with a nervous glance. "Okay…here goes. I think you're the strongest, most beautiful woman that I know. You always keep me guessing and on my toes and I want you with me all the time every day. I love you…more than anything," he pauses once more as he pulls out the small black box and then slowly opens it to reveal the sparkly solitaire diamond. "Elizabeth wil y…"

Liz's eyes instantly flood with happy tears, sparkling in the light as she looks at him with pure love and affection. But just as she goes to open her mouth…a woman nears and then stops right beside the table.

"Hello Donald," the soft female voice firmly interrupts, both looking up in surprise.

"Audrey?" Ressler manages weakly as Liz looks over at him and then up in shock. _Audrey? His ex-fiancée? What?_

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**A/N: ** I so hope we get to find out more about Ressler's back story and although I read they'd be focusing a lot on Liz/Tom for the rest of the season when it returns (after next week's fall finale) in January I do hope they'll expand more upon Ressler (okay so I'm greedy! Haha). So once again everything about Audrey, except for the first few lines is made up and I hope that's okay. So why did Audrey really return? What is her real agenda? Innocent or devious? And what trouble is about to crash down upon our new couple with her return? Please do review as reviews are the only way we know how we're doing and if you like the idea right (plus how else will you thank us for our time to write) :) thanks everyone!


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